Friday, March 25, 2005

obscure metaphors and arcane applications

So here I am again, sitting down, preparing to spew my conciousness forth into a little box on the screen of my computer. Readers, friends, I was hoping to tell you that I am writing this from my new computer - but alas! It is not to be! Not yet, anyway, they havent arrived yet. A box on both your cowses.

I would like to meet two people named Roman. Then, I could gather a group of all my friends together, as well as a few other Americans I am not necessarily friends with, and the two Romans, and I could make a speech starting with "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears..." Everyone would be holding two ears of corn. You see where I am going with this.

I am getting closer to writing a book. Every day I can feel it coming, and its almost here, and I am just gonna spit it into word so fast it doesnt have time to realize its been written before it gets me a nobel or a pulitzer or a free meal or something.

Tekken 5 next week. Paid next week. Coincidence? I think not! Now to make a friend or two who plays tekken so I'm not just playing against ze computer ze whole time. Jackie, I think I may be forced to teach you.

To the lighthouse is so good it makes me long to be back in my Finnegans Wake class. Modernism is A-Okay. I brought The Wake with me but frankly I can't read it without a group. And don't look at me like that, you can't either.

I fell madly in love with a girl I work with but she has a boyfriend so I fell back out. Shame.

Apparently they are going to have a welcome party for me on Wednesday after I give my little American Culture presentation thing. Sure, okay. I wonder if I can get them to do it at the arcade and throw 100en coins into the machine all night. Thatd be slick.

They have Magic Cards in Japan, I cant remember if I posted aboot it but I found a comic book/card store. Except no comic books, since those are like regular books in Japan. So it's more of a card store. A card/porn store, really. With Gundam Wing action figures and decks of porn cards. All the highschool boys in Niihama seem to hang out there and I have gone there twice and its always the same guy working he must own it and he just looks overjoyed and thrilled to have such a store and to have all the kids like him and to have all the magic cards he could ever want. I kinda like him. The second time I went was to introduce new kid joshka to the place as he is a magic kinda guy.

Japanese Magic Cards are in Japanese, but they also sell English. Nifty ne? And they play every friday from 530 to whenever. I dont wanna be snooty but I got better things to do. Like play tekken at the arcade across the street. Ha. I love being young.

So I am preparing my cultural exchange thing. I give a self-introduction, talk about sports I have done in a sufficiently self-depracating way (did I spell that right? self? ...) (ie how bad I was when I played baseball as a child and how I never caught anything, and how everyone laughed at me until the last game. Then, in the last inning of the last game, a big fly ball came my way. Naturally, I say, I closed my eyes and protected my face with my hands, unable to move from fear. Suddenly I hear cheering, and I look, and the ball is in my glove. Complete fluke. True story.), then ask them all to introduce themselves and talk about what sports they do and how old they are (so I can tell which of the girls that look here are in my range, cuz ya just cant tell by looking, though I am getting a bit better at it), then I talk about Spectator Sports vs Participatory Sports in America, and our big 5 (base foot soccer basket hockey) and how the only of those that anyone ever realyl DOES is basketball, and do you have sports like that in japan that everyone likes but nobody does, and why do you suppose that is?

Then I go on to talk about sports we all do. I start with how in school we get to do sports and I give the list of what you can do what season soccer crosscountry boysfootball girlscheerleading in fall winter basketball wrestling volleyball spring track baseball something else I cant remember etc. Then I say that if you go on a picnic or something with your friends you need a frisbee it is essential, and I talk about frisbee games like frisbee golf and ultimate, but I dont give explanations so that way they will ask me to explain and it will take more time, and I talk about how if there is a court like at a park there is always volleyball or basketball or badminton and finally how sunday morning in the park are all the people running or riding their bikes for fitness and in Japan what sports do people actually do and why and is it school or private and gender divide or no and all sorts of stuff like that.

THEN (I am assuming each of these question sessions takes maybe a few mins) I talk about motivations for sports and how the Americans or at least myself do sports because its fun and we like to relax and its very hobby-esque and if it is not fun then we dont do it it is not GENERALLY something that people commit to the way they seem to in Japan but that also some people are really about what they are doing and so our reasons for doing sports are 1) health 2) fun 3) social 4) to be like our fathers but not necessarily in that order. So from there, aww, shucks, you know the drill, why do you do sports in japan and you there what did you say you did right soccer and why and do you still and why and you there how old did you say you were oh really lets go out for drinks and why?

Good god grammar is meaningless to me, it's like a vestigial tale did I spell that right? Speeling is gonna go nekst. Soon my writing will e free of all cosntraints and you can call me james joyce and nod patronizingly and shelve me though I scream stop stop stop understand me and you keep nodding cuz I didnt say stop stop stop I said asfdjkl;gj and all you can do is nod and shelve me until you get bored with my presence because even though it is gibberish you feel like it is saying something you dont understand and so you take me from the shelf and try again and fail and then you throw me out because afterall if I am not even legible what is my purpose?. So then you shelve me and I am torn between feeling alive and dead clever and dumb and in the end nothing matters and should we laugh or cry about that? Then you feel kinda the same sort of thing but you dont really know what it is you are feeling and one day after drinking you try again to read me and start on page 73 but really its garbage and in a fit of rage you throw me out, and they we are broken up and it's sad but we are free and it's happy and what the fuck?

What is with the word should, anyway? Where does it get off telling me what to do?

I am in a good mood.
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