Wednesday, March 02, 2005

I've not updated in a while. gomen.

Not a whole lot to say maybe?

Work is providing me with less fodder for my ravenous wit, which can only live on righteous indignation. I have been really loving the hell out of my job, and I pour over Dreamweaver and Flash MX2004 and Photoshop all day every day. Hell I would do it on the weekends if I had internet at my apartment. This is absolutely fantastic. I can make flash animations now! How cool is that? I have yet to make a really pretty one but I threw together something simple as a title page for the nissen website where you just choose english or japanese. I will put it up at Once you learn the basic shit like this it becomes a matter of getting nice photographs and refined looking buttons, right, so this is 90% of the work. The thing I love most about web design is that people who are good at it like to talk about it, and have a forum at their disposal which is a direct result of their abilities. As a consequence, the web is filled with tutorials and explanations of even the most obscure features of the most unused codes or techiniques. It is magnificant, you can pay thousands of dollars to learn web design or you can take a week with a computer and the internet and a few gigs of pirated software and you can put together something good.

Aesthetics of course will get you every time, if you are me. I really just have a hard time creating the actual graphics, but I think there might be someone here who will do that for me, tho I dont understand exactly. But even that will come if I take a week and learn photoshop inside out before it expires. If you know enough in the way of techinque you can almost replace the need for creativity, right? It's all embedded in the software...

Matt, Zach, how is the housing situation looking?

Kendo, how are you guys doing?

Jon, Dan, how is tekken 5 treating you?

Mom, sorry I forgot your birthday.

Kate, I was gonna email you and decided to write a brief blog instead.

Brian, congratulations on winning 100 bucks for being smart. Come to OSU.

Pat, all set for Osaka? When can I swipe those chairs from ya?

I don't know who actually reads this.

I went to Imabari with Aya this past weekend and bought a little 8-ball pillow that feels really comfortable, much like Alison's star pillows but bigger and it's an 8 ball. And I cleaned the hell out of my apartment. Okay not really but I pushed all the junk to the walls and found my vacuum cleaner. And did laundry.

Yeah, I guess these are the slow days. Osaka and Kyoto are so cool that I get back to Niihama and don't have much to say. I guess I could join various friends in lamenting the passing of the college era, but it doesn't ring true for me. You guys are all about to take off and rule the world, and I have another year. For what it is worth, I will miss you all tremendously - this last year of school for me when I get back is going to feel so hollow. I guess nothing for it but to live for the moment and enjoy the time as such. I am not trying to diss the few friends I will have remaining at OSU, I value you guys just as much, but it is going to be such a different scene.

I have kept this blog up for like 7 months now. Is that cool or what? How many hundreds of pages must I have typed into here? Madness and vanity. Every year I look at "Me up to this point" and violently reject everything that had come before, embracing the future. The result is that I always feel out of touch with who I was and who I will be, I am sort of a maelstrom of autodestructive tendencies that exists perpetually in the present. Maybe that will change once I finally sort my shit out, but it leaves me wondering if I am just going to despise this blog the way I despise my old live journal? As the unwelcome footprint-in-the-cement of a trespasser who used my body for a while?

I am kind of a really sad guy. I am no longer depressed like I was when I was 18-20, but I don't see a happy future like I did when I was 00-18. I just kind of see me doing whatever it is I happen to be doing unitl I die. And that's what we all do. I am turning this into yet another episode of Myk wears his heart on his sleeve and undergoes depressive psueudo-insight that belonged in 7th grade. Fuck that. I don't know. I don't care. I kinda just wanna sleep. Or work on web pages.

Momentum is everything for me. I want it to be nothing. I profess to like to change on a whim but I never change, I just keep going on the same basic line with my moods the only fluctuation. I don't like change, I like stasis and stagnation. I admire change for its difference from me. But I am rotting like most of you.

I want to be able to stop on a dime and go the other way and not care. Now how to bring that about. I need a pirate (air)ship and a crew of loyal mates. Or a stiff drink.

Don't mind the depressive tone I have other issues floating around right now that I don't want to write about but that are dragging me down. I would go back and delete the whining but I dont feel like checking where the website euphoria stopped and the bitching began so you get the whole dose. Bon apetit.
"If you know enough in the way of techinque you can almost replace the need for creativity, right?"

Tell that to one of my design colleagues who are spending the thousands of dollars you mentioned for a design degree and see what they say. Creativity itself can be learned, but there's no substitute. And yes, us Web design people love to talk all about design and programming stuff. =P

Housing... well, the person I thought was interested has proved to be kinda flaky about just about everything in his life apparently, so I have no idea anymore. He has yet to get back to me, but I should see him this weekend I think.

As for kendo, I'll know after practice today...

This better post. Blogger ate my last one and I didn't feel like re-typing it.

Oh, RPGs. Suikoden IV sucks? Damn, I've always like the series. Maybe I'll still give it a try. Japanese club has a copy of the new Metal Gear in our office if all else fails... (I'm mostly an RPG guy, but that isn't to say I don't like the other stuff.)
hey if you get that airship let me know. i can mop and stuff. we could make flash movies for fun to fund the fuel of the airship and of course to buy cheetos.

it'd be sweet.

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